i feel defeated and completely lost. not lost like i don't know where i'm going, but lost like i have no idea where i am, how i've gotten here, and i have no idea how to get out. it's horrifying. difficult. exhausting. painful. intense. it's a nightmare. my worst nightmare.
more than anything i need courage, strength, faith and confidence. and i feel like those are the things that are the most out of my reach. you have no idea how impossible it can be to face a fear. a stupid, tiny, completely irrational, intense, crippling, terrifying fear. i pray and wish with all of my might that i can have the strength to feel the fear and do it anyway, but it's like i hit a brick wall and literally cannot move past it. my entire life is put on hold, stopped. it is ruling me and controlling me, and i can't overcome it.
"for God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
II timothy 1:7
No comments:
Post a Comment