counting my blessings :)

i've been inspired by another blogger to share a bit of my faith... so if you're not interested, go ahead and move along :)

sometimes i feel like breaking down, i kind of let myself crumble, as if to my knees, and cry tears of gratitude, of joy and thanks. even though i often feel the cards i've been dealt aren't exactly spades and aces, i have to set myself back and remind myself that there is no 'easy hand'. these are the times when i can most clearly see my many blessings. whether the blessings be greater than my struggles or not, they're still mine. i still have them, deserving or not. i'm not really a fan of the whole "it could always be worse" thing.. because maybe it could be worse, but it can always be better, and you're blessed to have control of one of those paths. i guess i'm just saying it's not always a bad thing to feel some weight on your shoulders, it's okay to struggle, just take the time to slow down and "count your blessings" ..maybe it's not a winning lottery ticket or an answered prayer, maybe it's the simplest of blessings- either way, it's yours, and you haven't been forgotten.


"blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
james 1:12

happy anniversary, blogger!

well it's been exactly one year since i started this blog adventure :) and i guess it'd be pretty cliche and expected to say "and boy, has this been a year of change!" ...in some ways things have changed since june of 2010, some for the better, a lot for the worst. but compared to the changes i'm about to face, this past year has been a dud. i have to say 2011 hasn't treated me very well, but i'm hoping that will soon 'change' (word of the post?) as well..

so far 2011 has been a huge roller coaster of emotions, actions, feelings, everything... just a complete uphill, mostly downhill ride of life. i can't decide if things are looking up, and i want to say they certainly are, but i guess the pessimist in me wants to set my expectations low ..boo, katie! lol

in recent (happy) news.. my dad finally proposed and married miss connie greene! they've been together for a long while, and have really been through a lot, so it's been really nice to see them so happy.. daddy proposed in february and they planned a trip for the beginning of june to palm island in the grenadines. they planned to have a simple wedding on the beautiful beach with just the two of them :) little did we all know, they were planning much more than that! they were set to leave on june fourth, so on friday, june third, family and friends of dad and connie got together at my aunt and uncle's house for a nice poolside engagement party. brandi and chasity came down from tennessee to go to the party with me, and as usual we arrived just shy of too late ;) we mingled for a while, (wondering where connie was, might i add!) before dad stood up to give his little speech.. he stood at the high point of the pool, above the rock waterfall on a little stage of sorts with a microphone and read a letter him and connie had written for the event. he spoke about their relationship, ups and downs, and their journey together with Christ through it all. ending his speech, he thanked us all for being there for them and shared that they had more plans for the evening ..they wanted to share their vows and the experience with all of us! :) i immediately burst into happy tears like a baby. it was one of those times where i just cried, without even knowing why, lol.. i was happy, of course, but i think i was mostly surprised and happily shocked. none of us expected to be a part of their wedding, and it was really special that they decided to let us all in on such an awaited event for them :) ...anyway, "God blessed the broken road" came over the speakers, and connie, following her daughter megan, with her son brandon at her side, began walking down the stairs of the balcony to meet my dad above the rock waterfall in her gorgeous gown! she was a beautiful bride, and i was truly amazed at what i was witnessing! haha! chris minton, a longtime friend of daddy's, married the two and then came the "congratulations" and "oh my God!'s"! you have no idea how unexpected this was for our entire family. not a soul knew their plan other than mr. chris, connie's good friend who planned the party, and brandon and megan. not even prim and michele knew, and we were at their house! lol... their wedding was just as beautiful as it would have been on a caribbean island, and i can't explain how nice it was to see it all happen :)

SO! after arriving back from their honeymoon in paradise, dad moved in with connie and has been working on fixing our house up to be put on the market. so i guess this is time to announce MY upcoming changes.. lol

i decided, after a ton of thinking, stressing, crying, and anxiety, to move myself and bailey jane up to tennessee to be with my sister, niece, mom and her side of the family. while i'm extremely excited to get the hell out of macon, i'm also feeling weird about leaving. this city is all i have ever known. i was born and raised here and know every road, highway, interstate and alleyway like the back of my hand.. i look forward to being with great family, enjoying fresh (much less humid) air, and hanging by the pool with chasity and brandi ..but you bet i'm still somewhat afraid. i feel like i'm not sure what to expect, and i guess i'm apprehensive because i have never ..ever put myself in such a position as this. i've always avoided change as much as possible, and crumbled when i've been forced to face it.. but i've always come out of it okay, so i'm just going to have to have a little faith :) of course, i'm not at all excited about leaving jake, my friends and family behind.. but i truly believe i'll be able to be happy in tennesse, albeit missing them like crazy! i feel like i'm at a point where i need this. i need a happier environment, a less stressful environment, in order to pull myself out of my funk.. i'm hoping for a breath of fresh air, and finding a good place to settle myself down before having a family of my own to raise :)

anyway.. i'll keep you posted on the move, just wish me luck! :)

..birthday wish list! :)

so i've been horribly depressed, stressed and anxious lately =/ but! my birthday is coming up next month, and i figured it would be more fun to post a wish list than to whine about everything, lol.. even when i don't have money (which is usually the norm), i still like to check tons of clothing stores and different websites online just to see "what's new" ..i guess that just makes fashion a passion of mine :) ha! mind you, this is in no way a list of things i want people to get for me at all, i don't expect that, i just like to share things i'm loving.. so here goes! :)

1. ADORE this bedding set from target! and i've been in pretty dire need of a new one for a while now! lol.. i have some black and white zebra pillows that have been sitting in my closet for forever.. i think they'd be cute with this set and some black satin sheets :) ...i'm also thinking about making the switch to satin sheets/pillow cases, ha! much better for your hair and skin! lol anyway, i love the pleating detail and little buttons! the dusty violet color is cute, too!
violet comforter set from target


2. omg!! this has to be THE cutest dress i've seen in a while!! ahhh!! if you know me, you know dresses are just about all i wear in warm weather.. and warm weather it is! this would be so cute with a pale yellow cropped cardigan or something :)
floral dress from windsor


3. it's been said that every girl needs a pair of nude pumps, and i couldn't agree more! preferably nude hidden platform stiletto pumps ;) hahaa! i love these to death! they go with just about anything and make every one's legs look long and sleek!
nude pumps from urbanog


4. i'm pretty much OBSESSED with this blue/lilac color! it's so flattering and spring/summer appropriate! i also really like the off-the-shoulder style shirts! they're my favorite comfy shirts that can also be dressed up easily!
tunic from victoria's secret


5. i know it's summer, but i think light weight cardigans are essential year-round! i love the length of this one! it'd be cute over a patterned dress or skirt on a windy day or cool night, aww :) and i really like 'oatmeal' colored anything! i guess i'm a neutral kind of person, my favorite wardrobe colors are all boring colors like taupe, gray and cream! lol
cardigan from aerie


6. ..pretty sure i NEED these tan ruffly flats! perfect with the above mentioned sweater/dress combo! :) they are simply adorable, 'nuff said!
flats from charlotte russe


7. could i possibly have a wish list without nail polish?? i think not! recently, i've discovered a new love for pink polish.. however, i don't seem to be satisfied with any of my pink colors! boo! so i've done some research, and decided i'd pretty much love the following pink colors! and this pale blue is awesome! i have a 'tiffany blue' that i love so much, so i think this would be a hit, too! :) ha! from left- 'borrowed and blue', 'knockout pout', 'need a vacation', and 'haute as hello' all from essie!
essie polish from ulta


8. holy bananas! i have been DYING for this palette for over a year! this thing is impossible to get your hands on, and a must have for every beauty freak like myself! :) urban decay made a limited quantity to begin with when this 'naked' palette was released and the demand for it was so high, it was sold out in weeks! they've decided to make more and they're finally back in stores! eeee!!! these colors are perfect, every eye shadow color you need for every look! love them!
edit: i have the best boyfriend ever and this palette is finally mine!!! :D


9. an epilator.. yeah, i said it. you don't know what that is? i didn't either... it's this super scary looking 'shaving' device! seriously! it's got a ton of tiny tweezers that pluck the hair and apparently leave your legs smooth for pretty much forever... sound painful? yeah, doesn't bother me! lol.. anything to keep from shaving every day during the summer! ugh! i have no idea how it works, but i've read/watched reviews and it's all the rage! haha! :)
epilator from sally's


10. splurge- this BEAUTIFUL ring!! i'm in love with it!! 3.5 carat cushion cut green amethyst, with pink topaz and diamond accents set in white gold! gorgeous! :D i'm beyond excited that i actually AM getting this ring for my birthday from my sweet jake!! it'll be an early birthday present.. maybe i'll post pictures when i get it soon! yay! :)



that's it for now! ha :) thank you for reading!!

uncomplicated...

okay i "stumbled upon" this list, and it's really long, but hopefully it's worth it to you :) ..but before i get to that, you should know what 'stumble upon' is.. www.stumbleupon.com - you can pick interests (fashion, photography, humor, dogs, religion, food, health, ANYTHING) and hit this little "stumble" button at the top of your browser and it'll take you to random websites from alllll over the interwebs that have to do with your interests. you can either check out the websites, or hit "stumble" over and over like i do and sample them all :) it's awesome for when you're bored! good times!

right... so i love lists for some reason(??), some of my stumble upon interests are psychology, psychiatry, sociology, people, life, whatever i don't know! so i always get these lists and articles about life and living and being happy/successful/etc etc... this list is super long, but it's pretty worth it :) it's 100 little ways to "uncomplicate your life" ..no, it's not some checklist or race to complete all of them and be 100% the shizz at living life, but i found it interesting and refreshing, maybe you will, too :)

1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds
2. Get up 30 minutes earlier so that you don’t rush/get a ticket while driving too fast/have to explain why you’re late/get fired
3. Get 8 hours of sleep per night so that you think more clearly
4. Stick to your budget
5. Start saving and investing every week, no matter how little you can spare
6. Balance your checkbook
7. Don’t try to be friends with everyone. Cultivate closer relationships with fewer people.
8. Don’t try to do business with everyone. Identify your target client and take very good care of them.
9. Before getting angry, ask yourself if it will really matter in 20 years
10. Focus on being a good person, not on pleasing others
11. Stay home this Saturday, and finish off that nagging chore that you need to finish
12. Kiss and make up
13. Make a weekly menu, and shop for only those items at the market
14. Ask your grandparents the best way to uncomplicate life, and try it for a month
15. Fill up your gas tank when it’s half full
16. Don’t drink alcohol when you’re tired, sad or mad
17. Pay your bills on time
18. Get an annual physical examination
19. Say “I love you” to your significant other and to your children. Studies show that more marriages last, and fewer kids use drugs, when these words are spoken every day.
20. For just one day, imagine everyone’s intentions are good because most people’s are
21. Give away clothes that haven’t been worn in two years
22. Throw out clothes that are in disrepair, and can’t be mended
23. When you have a conflict with someone, talk it out. Don’t let it turn into more than it is.
24. Know what your priorities are in life, and act as if they are your priorities
25. Tell the truth
26. Don’t cheat
27. Don’t steal
28. If you’re holding on to a ridiculous grudge, let it go
29. Clean your house weekly, so that it doesn’t become too large a chore
30. Do your best at work, or at school
31. Don’t eat when you aren’t hungry
32. Eat when you are hungry
33. Be yourself
34. Say no unapologetically
35. Cook simple meals
36. Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses
37. Pay off your car before buying a new one
38. Organize your desk at the office
39. Change your smoke alarm batteries when the clocks spring forward, and again when it falls back
40. Organize your important paperwork
41. Take only half the clothes that you planned to take with you on holiday
42. Help your children with their homework every night, and have an open dialogue with their teachers
43. Have white sheets and white towels in children’s rooms/bathrooms, because they’re easily bleached
44. Spend your time with nice people
45. Avoid drama
46. Don’t text or talk on the phone while driving
47. Turn off the television/video games/computer; they’re time consumers
48. Don’t engage in office politics
49. Refuse to gossip, or talk behind other people’s backs
50. Do the dishes right after dinner
51. Never go to sleep angry
52. Ask nicely for what you need and want
53. Walk 10,000 steps per day to help your heart
54. Do 20 push-ups before speaking in anger
55. Leave work at work
56. Don’t befriend anyone that isn’t trustworthy
57. Don’t envy others
58. Have your oil changed
59. Take vitamin C BEFORE you catch a cold
60. Don’t work more than 8 hours per day
61. Weed your garden weekly
62. Wash your car weekly
63. Have a spring cleaning month every year, and do one room at a time
64. You don’t need to be best friends with work colleagues, but build respectful partnerships
65. Don’t drink and drive
66. Don’t look for reasons to be angry or sad, look for reasons to be happy. You’ll always be able to find plenty of each.
67. Be friendly with your neighbors
68. Return emails and phone messages promptly
69. Schedule in free time
70. Don’t procrastinate
71. Do what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it
72. Be more flexible when you’re able to be
73. Forgive and forget. End of story.
74. Break the consumerism habit…put a three month moratorium in place on buying anything not deemed a necessity
75. Start your diet on September 1, rather than January 1, so that you won’t also have holiday pounds to lose
76. Take care of any health issues or concerns
77. Have your tires rotated
78. Have your brakes checked
79. Have your eyes checked
80. Don’t let your imagination run away with you
81. Let go of perfection in others
82. Let go of perfection in yourself
83. Don’t try to help those that refuse to help themselves
84. Find a way to reduce your commute to work
85. Have an allotted amount of worry time per day/week, that you strictly abide by
86. Drink more water
87. Eat more salmon
88. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill
89. Wear your hair in a classic, easy to care for style
90. Finish what you start
91. Wear classic clothes and shoes that never go out of style
92. Create a daily routine
93. Have a 1, 5, 10 and 20 year plan for your financial and life goals
94. Slow down
95. Eat out less often
96. When you ask your husband which outfit looks best, thank him for his answer and wear the one he liked rather than focusing on why he didn’t like the other one
97. Allow your children to grow up
98. Clean out your garage, and donate anything that hasn’t been used in the past year
99. Stretch every day
100. If a relationship is over, let it go

yeah, it's colorful, haha... i wanted to emphasize the green ones for myself :)
our lives can get extremely complicated, stressful, unhappy and even agonizing. i think it's important to keep at least some things in check, to keep some things simple and easy. most importantly, i think it's a must to have some kind of faith and some kind of trust that things are all happening to you and around you for a reason. don't try to nitpick everything, or find the 'reason' for everything, but instead see the good in what you can, and when you can't, just let go and have faith. here's a few i think i'd add to the list :) --

101. breathe.
102. spend time everyday dreaming about the future.
103. watch silly/stupid/funny movies.
104. soak up some sun.
105. pray. be thankful. ask for forgiveness.
106. tell someone a story.
107. wear a pair of cute heels, if you're a woman, of course ;)
108. read a good book.
109. take a nap.
110. set a few small goals for yourself every day, and pat yourself on the back when you accomplish them.

broken.

i feel defeated and completely lost. not lost like i don't know where i'm going, but lost like i have no idea where i am, how i've gotten here, and i have no idea how to get out. it's horrifying. difficult. exhausting. painful. intense. it's a nightmare. my worst nightmare.

more than anything i need courage, strength, faith and confidence. and i feel like those are the things that are the most out of my reach. you have no idea how impossible it can be to face a fear. a stupid, tiny, completely irrational, intense, crippling, terrifying fear. i pray and wish with all of my might that i can have the strength to feel the fear and do it anyway, but it's like i hit a brick wall and literally cannot move past it. my entire life is put on hold, stopped. it is ruling me and controlling me, and i can't overcome it.

"for God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
II timothy 1:7

springtime wish list :)

well, as my first (and let's be honest, possibly my only) post for april, why not throw together a springtime wish list, just for the fun of it! :D i have to admit, i'd do a lot more favorites/wish list posts if i felt like anyone would really appreciate my adoration for current fashion and accessories, haha! anyway, a few weeks ago, the lovely/yucky maconga decided to give us all a preview of a beautiful spring! ..the sun and 70 degrees got me all kinds of excited for floral print dresses, espadrille wedges and over sized sunglasses, and then the weather turned right back to cold mush! so here's hoping springtime will come back soon and welcome lots of sandals and sundresses! ;)

1- some sort of cutesy straw hat..
i know, i know.. i have no idea with what or where i would ever wear one, but maybe i'd be gutsy enough to pair it with a casual dress and wear it out one day, ha! they're just too cute! these are both from charlotte russe for around 12 bucks..


2- dresses, dresses, dresses!
oh my goodness the floral dresses this year! flowers, silk accents, ruffles and chiffon! how precious! i'm loving the idea of pairing them with a waist cinching belt and cute cardigans! eeee! :) forever 21 is always on top of the trends and they're so affordable it's ridiculous.. we neeeeeed one here in town!! these four are from f21.com



3- nude strappy wedges!
holy banana sandwich! i am in LOVE with these wedges from target! they're from the dolce vita for target line and are less than $30! dolce vita shoes are wayyy pricey, so i love that designers like them and cynthia vincent make lines with target for cheap! i feel like nude shoes are really starting to jump on the scene.. i love the ankle buckles on these, they'd be so cute with a cute top and some rolled up skinny jeans! ahhhh!


4- destroyed skinnies...
ever since my hollister destroyed "cali flares" totally self destructed in the ass region (aka- ripped right up under the butt when my sister put her ghetto booty in them! ha!), i've been wanting a good new pair of old jeans.. ha! i know, "why would you buy such messed up jeans?!" ..well, just because i like the way they look! and you can't make holes look that good with some scissors and sand paper! haha! anyway, i've always hated skinny jeans.. because they are meant for "skinny" people, hence the name, which is often confused with jeans that make you look skinny (that's a big NAH AH!).. anyway, they look best on those tall slim girls with twig legs, but they are comfortable, and i like cuffing the bottoms for a simple cropped look :) ..and like i said before, these jeans from wet seal would look cute with those strappy wedges to dress down a nice top! :D


5- brown high waist belt
look how cute with the little floral cutouts! i'm a sucker for any light brown/cognac colored accessory! by now, i think every girl should own at least one high waisted belt to cinch those tunics and flowy dresses! this one from charlotte russe is just under 10 dolla!


6- little bow jewelry!
ahhh the bows! i love anything with cute little bows! earrings, rings, necklaces, bracelets.. adorable! these few are from charlotte russe and forever 21 ..where else?! :)


7- leather flip flops!
i wear flip flops all year 'round.. and sometimes you just need more than your standard rubber old navy havaiana knock offs! american eagle always has the best leather flip flop selection! love them!


8- spring nail polish!
you know i had to put nail polish! :D i'm loving the spring 2011 "french affair" collection by essie! i love the nudes, light pinks and the sky blue! omg! essie makes the best polishes ever! i'm so glad ulta came along so i could find this brand!



aright, aright.. i could probably go on! but i'll be done for now! hopefully you enjoyed my fashion blabbery and excitement and maybe now you look forward to spring that much more! :)

someone...

sometimes, you get a chance to find someone who just gets you. you find someone who knows all the right things to say and just what to do. someone who knows when and how you hurt, and what you need to hear to make everything better. someone who loves seeing you laugh, and knows exactly how to make it happen. someone who knows how to hold you when you're happy, and when you're sad. someone who knows just when to turn to you and smile at dinner. or when to lean over to kiss you randomly while the movie is playing. someone who knows exactly how to hold your hand in his, and how to kiss you just right. someone who must know just how much you love his sweet touches. someone who knows when you need to be squeezed tight. and when you need to hear "i've got you" whispered into your ear. someone who knows when you need a listening ear to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or a friend to laugh with. someone who is the absolute best at being all three. sometimes you find this someone. you find that being in their arms is nothing like you've ever known. you find that their smile is incomparable to anyone else, and their laugh is the best you've ever heard. you find someone who thinks all the same things of you, and just how to show you they care. sometimes they may not even know they can do all of these things. sometimes they are this way because that's just how they were meant to be. for you. :)