...i don't know, but my nose is sun burned :(

i wanted to blog, but i wasn't sure what to blog about... so i have no idea where this post might be headed, but maybe i'll make a point somewhere in here :)

arguments. disagreements. feuds. fights. throw down with bobby flay? it seems like recently, i've been encountering a lot of these (well, except with bobby flay). not only my own few arguments here and there, but i guess i've seen friends and family arguments lately and i've kind of been thinking about the whole thing... we all have them, and we all deal with them in our own ways. and i guess there's no cookie cutter way to correctly handle a fight. and sometimes, i don't think there's any right way at all. over the past few years, i've learned who i am, and that other people generally are not like me (haha..). family, friends, acquaintances, we don't all handle things the same way. we don't all see things, hear things or react to things the same way either. which is the cause of most arguments anyway... so i guess what i've learned to do is understand that my dad (who i'll use as my example because well.. it's just the easiest, haha) is in no way like me when it comes to anger (and all kinds of things really). i understand that he doesn't live like i do, he doesn't see things like i do, and he most certainly doesn't handle things like i do. all i can do is realize that, and let it go and hope he can do the same with me. we are two separate people with two very different lives. while we live together, and have a lot to do with each other's daily life, i have to allow myself to dictate my own time, my own life and my own feelings, not anyone else. my big way of dealing with people i constantly butt heads with or generally dislike, is just 'outing' them. i don't let them occupy my time or energy, because that's the easiest thing for me to do in order for zero drama to occur. however, at some point we'll all have to deal with someone we tend to disagree with often.. my best advice is just to know who you are, and understand that not everyone is like you. accept that fact, and do your best to live with it. understand that you cannot be held responsible for every little feeling everyone has, because when it comes down to it, we're all crazy different, and you may mean one thing, but someone else comprehends that through a whole 'nother set of eyes and ears. i guess working through an argument, to me, is realizing where the communication went wrong and picking up and moving on from it. most importantly, you can't dwell or focus on the mistakes made.. recognize them together, take note, accept that it happened, and leave it behind you. there is absolutely no way you can take back the past minute, hour or year of your life, the only thing you can do is say goodbye to it and take a step forward.

okay, wow, i'm feeling very dr. phil.. although i'm sure he might have made all of that sound a little less complicated!! :)

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:)

..a weirdo

last night i was setting my alarm for this morning[afternoon], and i got kind of annoyed with one of my 'quirks' (you'll see why).. so i started thinking about some of the weird things that i do and how stupid they are! i figured i'd write them down, so i'll list them here and share my stupid little quirks with you :)

- when i set my alarm, the numbers in the time have to add up to 3, 4, 7 or 11.. for example: 9:02am, 12:01am, etc etc.

- i wet my toothbrush before and after i put the toothpaste on, then proceed to brush my teeth for like five minutes... that's kind of normal for some people, i guess, haha

- every time i pull into my driveway, i take my seat belt off at the same moment/spot when i'm pulling up to the top of the hill before i get in the garage... even though my car yells at me and makes an annoying sound when the car is moving and my seat belt isn't on.

- i eat my food one 'item' at a time.. for example: chicken first, then carrots, then potatoes. and i never mix my food together. or if i'm eating fast food, i'll eat the fries first then the chicken, unless it's arby's, then i eat the chicken then the fries...

- this one is super weird and really hard to explain... when i'm watching tv, i constantly look at the time on the cable box below the tv, and i trace the numbers with my toes over and over again. it even annoys me that i do it, but i can't stop.. and when i'm laying down to go to sleep, i'll write out words and stuff with my toes.. it's so random! like, i'll picture the word in my head and just move my feet in thin air like i'm writing it, except i don't use my fingers, haha.. i do this compulsively and it doesn't stop until i fall asleep, haha

- i simplify my life almost obsessively. i clean out my purse all the time. and i'm always organizing something so i can get rid of stuff... i'll clean out my closet or drawers a few times a month and always find things to throw out. i could probably pack all of my things in about 10 minutes because it's all so organized and i hardly own anything, haha...

- when i'm reading an article or long post online, i constantly click around random places with my mouse and highlight text and click off of it and highlight something else. i don't pay attention to what i'm highlighting, because i'm reading, but i just highlight random blocks of text and click off and highlight more really fast.. that one's kind of difficult to understand unless you see me do it, ha..

so i guess that's all i can think of for now... please tell me you have some weird quirks, too?? =/ haha!

:)

...a mo-ron

i always paint my nails all pretty ..and then a few days later i start having these crazy internal battles with myself because i start wanting to pick the nail polish off. so i tell myself i'll only pick off the nail polish on one nail so i can just paint that one over again ..but i can never stop at just one! does this mean i'm addicted to picking at nail polish??

fin.

...the lover :)

warning: this post may end up coming across as 'preachy' ...my bad! :)

i feel like too many people are rushing. i guess as humans, we're generally impatient and always on some kind of mission to make something happen. so lately, i'm learning that "making things happen" isn't always our role. a few weeks ago at church, the sermon was all about "God's waiting room". kevin talked about how to be "actively patient" while you're waiting. that your part is just to pray and find comfort in knowing that whatever God is doing in your life while you're waiting, is just as important as what you're waiting for ..whether that be love, kids, a job, etc etc. i really enjoyed the sermon and yeah, i've thought about it a lot since then.. but i think a lot of people actually have a problem realizing when they are in that waiting room. i mean, when you want a promotion or you want to score high on a test, yeah, you work for it. but there are a lot of things in life that aren't really up to us. waiting for love. i guess i'm figuring out the "wait" part, because most people are just doing the "looking". most who know me, know that i'm quite the patient single girl :) and a significant other just isn't high on my list of things to find.. i've been in great, long lasting relationships, but i can't say i've ever looked to be in one. i know way too many people (girls, mostly) who are on some kind of crazy hunt.. never letting things fall into place or stopping to focus on their own faults that could use some attention. i guess i'm just saying that God's waiting room for 'that certain someone' is packed full of people who don't even know they're stuck in there with no way out except one... which, yeah, is through Him. i can't say i'm not an 'active' waiter(?), but i've come to find that i just can't pick who that guy is for me. when it's right, it will be, and i'll know. so i guess sometimes, no matter who you do or do not pray to, you have to have some kind of faith that things do happen for a reason. and the pieces will fall into place. one thing i do know for sure, is that you can't love until you love yourself. you won't have the true love you've always dreamed of, until you're 100% with yourself. so, while you wait, focus on yourself, bettering yourself, figuring out what you want out of life and start living. because life[love] is what happens when you're busy making other plans...

:)

...a dreamer

so the other night, i dreamed i was drinking a diet cherry coke, and i didn't even know diet cherry coke existed! it was really good, and in my dream i was like "dang, i should start drinking diet cherry coke!" ...so, back in real life, at the grocery store i discovered that diet cherry coke does, indeed, exist! i got some.. and it's not as good as it was in my dream =/ oh well, haha!!

i'm a big dreamer. and i really feel sorry for people who don't dream, or don't remember their dreams. it's almost like living in another world, for me! i have several dreams every night, and i find that i have the most vivid dreams in the mornings, if i wake up and fall back asleep a lot.. i also remember my dreams for a long time. i guess because i think about them a lot, but i can remember a dream i had when i was somewhere around 5 or 6 years old.. and i remember random dreams through the years.. it's weird. there's really no rhyme or reason to my dreams. sometimes i can recognize where a dream came from, like from something that happened during the day, or something i've been thinking about. and sometimes i have completely random movie dreams.. they're just like movies, they have plots and characters and everything! sometimes i'm in the movie, and sometimes i'm just watching it.. and sometimes i go back and forth from being in the movie to watching it.. it's nuts! i really love dreaming! haha :) i also have lucid dreams pretty often.. which is when you recognize in your dream that you're dreaming. those are really crazy, but i love them! sometimes they end too quickly, though.. i usually end up waking up after i realize i'm dreaming.. bummer!

this past year i've had a lot of recurring dreams.. i say this past year because i don't remember having them very often when i was younger.. anyway, my most recurring dream is that i'm back in high school, and i drove to school and the day is over, i go out to the parking lot to get in my car and leave and i have no idea where i parked my car. i always think to myself (in my dream) "man, i don't even remember parking my car this morning! what the hell?" ..so i end up walking all over the parking lot until eventually i find my car.. parked in some random spot and there's always some weird obstacle, like one time i was apparently driving some huge SUV and one of my tires was up on this huge rock, so half my car was in the air.. it was really weird.. i just got in and got it out and drove off... and one time i was parked between two cars who had parked WAY too close to me! i don't remember how i got in, but i couldn't get in through the drivers side door because the car was literally inches from mine! haha.. i have no idea what's up with that dream?!

then i have the dreams that help me make decisions, which is weird, haha! like my diet cherry coke dream.. this year with my tax return i really wanted to buy a louis vuitton speedy bag.. the speedy bag comes in different "sizes", i guess you could say.. the speedy 20, speedy 25, 30, 35 and 40. so since i like carrying a suitcase everywhere i go, i decided i wanted the speedy 35.... i thought about it for a few months and was really second guessing, thinking maybe the 35 would be too huge and i should get a 30.. (yes, these are things that i really worry over for months, it's sad, i know..) so anyway, one night i dreamed that i ordered a speedy 30.. i got it in the mail and it was hideous and small.. it didn't even look like what it was supposed to, it was just weird looking and in my dream i was like "dang, this is way too small! i should have ordered the 35!!" ...needless to say, the next day i happily ordered the speedy 35. it came in the mail a week later and was the perfect size! i adore it! what a happy ending! :D

HAHA! ...just so you know, this post is not a joke and that last part is a true story! haha :D
i hope y'all have sweet dreams!