"when you lack respect for yourself, you will cling to every morsel of respect you can get from other people - and you'll feel threatened and unmoored(which blogspot does not think is a word?) if they don't cooperate. but when you have an internal reservoir of dignity and self-acceptance, you won't be begging others to fill it." -dr. phil :)
i took this quote from an article i just read in oprah magazine. (quick side note - why did oprah decide that she should be the model for every single cover of her own magazine. does she ever get sick of doing photo shoots every month for that crap?) ..anyway, it really 'ding ding'ed in my head when i read it and made me think of the people i talk to who get really upset when other random people have bad manners, make rude remarks, shun them, etc etc.. the example in the article is something about what your typical response is when a grocery store clerk is rude to you.. some people let incidents like that rain out their entire day.. and some will just think "man, they must be having a crappy day" and get on with life... i'd like to think that more often than not, i'm in the second group of people. anyway, i guess that's all about that :) i have just painted my nails "barefoot in barcelona" by OPI, and i'm waiting for them to dry... again, blog ensues! and no, i didn't just take a picture of my nails, that's a google image! haha :D
i guess something i'd like to say, or get off my chest, is that 'getting things off my chest' is exactly my original intended purpose of this blog. whether those are things i find annoying or troubling throughout my day, something i've heard and want to voice my opinion about or a picture of a fabulous pair of shoes i'd like to share, it is in no way to 'talk crap' or bust anyone 'anonymously' via the internet. i'm not the kind of person who wants to try to start drama in those ways, i'm pretty straight forward, and blogging to confront someone (who may or may not even check this blog) is much too cowardly for my taste. i just don't think that far into my writing. my intentions aren't to hurt anyone at all. i write for my own selfish reasons, to do just that - "get if off my chest", which was my understanding of a 'blog' in the first place. and my understanding of most personal writing, for that matter... writing is therapeutic. i've been told to do it and even have friends who have been assigned to do it for college courses. it's a way to get emotions out of your head and away from your mind. some poeple have diaries, some people have blogs, and some people write in world renown newspapers. i've tried the diary thing and it was a complete fail! my hand always felt like it was going to fall off after like.. three sentences! haha!! i was under the impression that blogs are the diary of the new electronic interweb age! lol! :D i'm not ever really held accountable for much, and my therapist has reccommended 'journaling' to me, so i figured blogging and giving her the link may motivate me to spit some stuff out into written[typed] word. ha :) anyway, i want to say that i do understand that things i write can very well be taken the wrong way and offend others. and for that, i am truly sorry. a fault of mine, is mistaking the reactions of others. i tend to view things my way, and think about how i would react. however, not everyone is as stone cold as i am, and though i wish sometimes i could shed some of my tough skin and loan it to my friends, i can't. and i've learned that i can't just disregard their feelings because they may not be as strong or hard as mine. anyway, i just wanted to explain where i'm coming from, how i view the 'blogging world' (which i really don't think is a lone opinion on the subject) and what my true intentions have been.
blahhhh! and again, so much for not having any idea what to write about! i should really just start sitting down and starting a blog with no intention of writing anything at all... i mean, i really do put off blogging because i'll think "meh.. i have nothing to write about today", and here i am spilling my guts writing a novel again! anyway, i hear some thunder in the distance! i think it's sleepy storm time!! :D
okay, so.. not so much that i was actually 'tagged', but i felt like doing this and maybe some of my friends would pick it up and have something to write about, too :) so my tag is "10 things you can't live without" ..10 items, people, places, whatever! that are important to you, make up your daily life or that you just have to have! with explanations! and i know, i know, material possessions aren't everything, and you can't live without your family, your friends, your car, the roof over your head, food and water, etc etc... be at least a little creative :)
10 things you can't live without....
10. 311 - my happy music :) if i'm stressed, anxious, worried about a test, anything.. i always put in my mix of my favorite 311 songs and take a deep breath and chill... love it!
9. the internet - well, duh! then i couldn't blog, facebook, or youtube!! i'd be lost and have to look up phone numbers and locate places with an actual phone book! i wouldn't be able to get madd discounts online shopping! i wouldn't be able to stream the georgia football game when it's not on tv! i could go on and on! :D
8. digital video recorder - what in the hell did i ever do without DVR?! holy crap! i mean really! i don't even have anything else to say! it's perfect!
7. special k fruit and yogurt cereal - honestly, i could live on cereal, i pretty much do! it's easy to make and it's freakin' delicious! i have to grab at least two boxes of special k cereal at the grocery store every week.. it pretty much makes up two of my meals every day.. and i don't often eat more than two meals, so yeah.... i'll just go ahead and add skim milk to this one. i can't eat cereal without my skim milk. all other milk tastes like straight thick butter and fat! no bueno!
6. bath and body works lavender vanilla pillow mist - mmmm! i don't care if this stuff helps me sleep or not, it smells soooo yummy! :) i'm currently out, and obviously on the verge of death, so if you have any extra change lying around...... hahaa, kidding!! :D
5. sports - georgia football. sec football in general. duke basketball. march madness. peyton manning. nfl football. what else can i say? what would i look forward to during the fall?! how could i live without that insane excitement every week waiting for saturday! what would i do if i couldn't make a march madness bracket that beat my dad, his friends and my boyfriend(if there is one, ha) every year! what if i had no idea that tony reali, brady quinn, mark sanchez, chris 'the birdman' anderson, or jayson werth existed?! it'd be awful! hehe :)
4. bottled water - if you know me, if you ever see me, you've seen how much bottled water means to me! ha! i never leave the house without a bottle of water. it's almost a nervous habit kind of thing.. i don't know, i just really like cold water! it makes me feel better! haha!
3. my cell phone - yeah, my cell phone. i never leave home without it. i never turn it off. and i hardly ever leave it in some other room of the house. if i've used that lie on you, i'm sorry!! and some people may know, it's even in the bathroom with me while i shower.. i have been known to pick up a call with my head hanging out of the shower curtain :) it's my alarm clock, my calendar, my note bad, my calculator ..it's like my lifeline! what if something were to happen and i needed to get in touch with someone! yes, it's almost always with me! haha
2. faith - i can't begin to explain how much having faith and hope has dramatically helped my situation. any situation. enough said!
1. bailey jane - my dog. she is my heart. i adore her and can't imagine a day that she doesn't wake me up wanting to go run around outside for way too long before she pees.... she's my little sweetheart and provides much entertainment when i'm in need :)
so there we go ...now, i tag you! :)
this blog was brought to you by: nick hexum's amazing voice and adorable dance moves!
random things are on my mind. and i just so happen to be waiting for my nails to dry before i hop into bed. blog ensues...
i painted my nails 're-fresh mint' by china glaze... which means they are mint green :) except only my left hand is right now, because i don't feel like painting my right hand before i go to bed....
polo black is the best effing cologne ever. and it forces me to visit boys just so i can smell like polo black when i get home :)
redbox is my new bff.
i really enjoy real people. who know when and how to speak their mind.
andersonsilva got beat for 23 minutes tonight... he got lucky and chael tapped with two minutes left in round 5 ..dangit!
only 28 days until college football season. the absolute best time of year. i can't explain how excited i am to be happy all week waiting for every saturday!
'you've seen the butcher' by the deftones is hot hot hot.
you can't bullshit a bullshitter, and i'm the champ.
if it is hot outside, and ice cold inside your car, and your windshield fogs up... how do you 'unfog' it? with cold or hot air? i just end up turning on my windshield wipers.. =/
tall southern gentlemen are my weakness :) too bad i don't know any.... ha!
before i die, i want to see bob seger and 311 live. and probably a few more... but those are at the top of the list :)
i forgot i wanted to skydive... i really need to get on that!!
fin.
**this is a reminder to myself to blog about things i've been thinking about wanting to do in the next few years :)
this is why i suck at 'blogging' and writing in general.. i can never think of anything to write about, or anything worth writing about. i just got done doing some serious cleaning in the office/'georgia room', and felt like blogging... but i have no idea what to say? i guess music might be my 'blogging' trigger. i listen to music when i clean, and i think it made me feel like sitting down and spilling my guts.... but i don't really have anything to spill?
i've been thinking a lot about music lately.. and how it can be so frustrating sometimes, to me at least. i feel like sometimes i want to like a song so bad, or i'll like the lyrics of the song and not the music, or i'll love the music/feel of the song but the lyrics suck, and the worst is when the lyrics and the music are perfect, but the vocals are horrible...
for example.. earlier i was listening to this song "the only exception" by paramore... i love the music part of the song, hayley's voice and the verses (for the most part), but then you kind of get to the chorus and it's just "you ... are ... the only exception. you ... are ... the only exception." over and over again! and she doesn't even change her tone or whatever the whole time she's repeating those five words.. i'm just kind of like, ugh! it's like "you da best" by drake... the verses and the hook of that song are great, and then the chorus blows so much that it ruins the whole song! bummer, yeah?! haha
and then there's this song called "the biblical sense of the word" by quiet company.. i have no idea where i first heard it, and it's almost impossible to find, but i found the lyrics and some of them are so sweet, i love it! --
"When the morning comes, we will wake, and the sun will kiss your beautiful face. And if you want to know the truth, I can say 'You are my favorite part of every day.'
Oh, love ain't so tough, you will see. Just open up your arms to me, and don't make no vow you can't keep, and I'll lay my pride down at your feet.
Because neither the heavens nor the earth can equal what you're worth. I know you. I would fall apart if I didn't have your heart. I know you would too.
We make our lives worth living when we love each other. Yeah, we can move the mountains with our love.
You whisper you love me in my ear. When you tell me you love me, suddenly, I'm not scared. You've got me right where you want me and I will stay here, when you tell me you love me, suddenly, I'm not scared. We make our lives worth living when we love each other."
the first few verses are adorable, and then there's somewhat of a chorus, and then random crap? it's just so confusing.. and the vocals aren't that great either, it's just put together so awkwardly.... i just want the vocals to be perfect, the song structure to make sense, and the music to have good, easy and calm rhythm.... blah!
why can't every song be as perfect as "mainstreet" by bob seger, "jack and diane" by john mellencamp, "time" by hootie and the blowfish, "terrified" by kara diaguardi, or almost anything by ben folds!? haha... i could name so many amazing songs, and just as many crappy ones =/
and real quick while we're on music... have you ever thought about how many songs you know the full lyrics to?? i mean, holy crap! i might know the lyrics to thousands of songs! how insane is that?! i don't know... i just randomly thought about that the other day as i was singing "i'm a thug" by trick daddy word for freakin' word! haha!! :D
i don't ever do this.. write to portray an idea, feeling or emotion or anything, but i felt like trying something new, so here.. it doesn't have a title, and i'm no poet, i'm just ill and decided to throw something together.. heh :)
you started to play the perfect song sweet interest you did convey what is it i did wrong to make you stop and turn away
i'm a lucky girl, i know this, i almost always get what i want.. so i guess that's the reason i'm still blah about something, haha... i could be mad and pissy forever, but what i'm not accustomed to is being hurt and embarrassed and just.. yuck, i don't like looking like a fool.. i have never ever let that happen before.. and it's lame! =/ blahhh, why did i get myself into that?
okay i'm done bitching :) anyway.. today was a lovely, lazy saturday! this morning(afternoon) i slept, ate some cereal, and watched the x-games, which are my fav!! i saw the deaf girl win moto-x, yay deaf girl! and watched ryansheckler barely win street skate, yayryan! :D haha... and i decided that while i have the most respect for skateboarders, because it's probably the most difficult to do, bmx is the most entertaining to watch!! it kicks ass! haha.. but i do still love skateboarding more :) i guess because i know more people, bob burnquist is my lover! and i like bucky, and andy mac, and sometimes plg, and sometimes jake brown... and ryansheckler is pretty gay, but he still looks good..... i also discovered that all the street skate guys are pretty much 12 years old!! haha! i chopped that up to the fact that that's where skateboarders start, right? i mean, all of the big air, best trick and vert guys are like 40!! ..am i really still talking about the x-games?? anyway, i drove around a little, chilled with jamie and mason for a little while, aaand i came home and painted my nails "lilacism" by essie :) wow, x-games and nail polish.. am i a split personality gemini or what?! y'all have a great night! i'm going to sleeeeep...
