thank you.

some reading music.... :)


"O give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known his doings among the peoples."
I Chronicles 16:8

how thankful are you? honestly.. do you ever stop and take a second to think about something you have that maybe someone else isn't privileged enough to have for their own? is there something you've done that maybe someone else fights to do with no success? of course this sunday's sermon was about being thankful.. i snubbed my nose thinking "i thank God all the time, nightly, daily, whenever!" ..and as the sermon went on, i realized while He is ultimately to whom i should be most thankful, i'm forgetting lots of people i really love and care for.

my parents, for one.. first and foremost. i don't think i could possibly have a better set of people to love, support and care for me. i'm so fortunate to be able to be honest and share anything with them and still be received with open arms in return. they've never judged me, have always stood behind decisions i have to make on my own and are always there to pick me up when i stumble and fall. i've come across people who aren't lucky enough to be able to say these things about their parents, and i am forever blessed knowing that i've never had to, nor will i ever, doubt their love for me. i owe everything to them and will probably never be able to thank them enough. :)

second being my friends :) i'm lucky to have friends that i can always be honest and up front with. i don't hold much back, and when i needed them to understand my struggles and help when they could, they did without a second thought. i'm not often ashamed or embarrassed, but i couldn't help but hesitate in telling my friends i suddenly took a quick trip to shade city because of some sudden anxiety disorder, haha.. they were all sweethearts and have since been understanding of all my little nervous habits :) lol.. mostly, i have to say thank you to heather for being one of my best 'new' friends! she's been patient, super understanding, and has been there for me anytime i've needed her! and i still remember lots of long phone conversations when i was going through some serious heartbreak a few summers ago =/ ha! i'm glad i have her to call when i need to cry about old boyfriends and new ones, puppies eating my birth control and any panic or frustration i may be experiencing! haha! i hope she can say the same for me :)

i'm also blessed to have a best friend that i can say i've spent my whole life with (minus 10 days, ha..). i couldn't be more thankful for jamie and her ability to help me, listen, and calm me down when i need it. i love that i'm always able to be comfortable around her, and she's the same with me. she's one of my "safe people" and i love her for it! haha! she'll never know how great she is and how proud i am of her :) we have been through so much together and apart and it's awesome to say that i have a friend who has been with me through every obstacle i've had to face. again, i'll forever be thankful to her for being there :)

i'm especially thankful for people like mrs. lori mullis :) who has been an absolute Godsend over the past year and a half! she's been an amazing friend and support system. this lady understood me, supported me and believed in me from day one! she has not only taught me many many invaluable lessons, but she has shown me everything i was capable of when i had no faith in myself. i'll never be able to thank her enough for the blessings she's given me :)

not only am i thankful for my family and friends, but i am eternally thankful for Him. i would never be where i am today without my faith. i'm thankful for His comfort through my struggles and distress, and His grace when i stumble. i know i'll get preachy, and i sorry :) lol, but the Bible teaches us that Jesus was forever thanking God and those around Him. even through His ridicule and death, He was thankful. i take that as a lesson that even when we're fighting, depressed, hurting or falling, we always have something to be thankful for, there is always some light and you will always be able to look forward to better days. you will never be stripped of everything, because He already has been for you. so be spoiled, and be thankful :)

.....and on a much lighter and completely unrelated note :D this week, i've fallen in love with a new nail polish! eeee! i've bought a few sally hansen polishes recently instead of my usual 8$ bottles of essie! ha! and they're not so bad!! this week i'm wearing "purble gala", it's sparkly! :)

turkish delight...

okay, so.. i wish i had more stuff to blog about =/ my life just isn't all that interesting, and i'm just not all that talented, haha! if you'd like to hear me complain about football, or review nail polish/make up items, i could totes mcgoats do some of that! haha :D basically.. my life has been truckin' on, as per usual. i've decided that living close to God is pretty much the right way to go, and i'd enjoy making that happen... i don't know, i've been really thankful lately. i mean, i'm always thankful, but it's kind of crazy to me to see the things my God has done for me and placed before me. "he's the man!" -in the words of my new favorite baseball player, b.weez ;) haha!
it's getting chili lately, and i'm super diggin' it! i'm very much excited for thanksgiving and Christmassss! :D i'd also really like to go hunting this winter! shoot me a nice buck and then take my picture with it! HAHA! oh yes.. and speaking of Christmas (yeah?), i'ma put together the beginning of my Christmas wish list.. i never really have a list, nor ask for anything in particular, but i've had my heart on some things recently and figure i'll just put them here for my own records ... ;) ;) HA!

okay, very first.. this cutesie bootsie sideways cross necklace! it's so adorable on, and i've really been into tiny delicate necklaces.. love this! and it's only $26 bucks! not so bad! :) and it's from etsy, power to the little people!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/60647719/new-cz-cubic-zirconia-sideways-cross


oh my goodness... this will forever and always be on my christmas list! the best scent known to man. burberry london! or.. i think it's now known as the burberry original scent? i don't know.. but it's amazing, i love it to death!


okay.. NARS lip gloss in 'turkish delight'.. this is only on here because i could never bring myself to spend $24 on a tube of lip gloss, but i want it really really bad! haha!! :)


and for my outrageous (and not serious) item.. the 'love' collection by sydney evan.. i adore this necklace and ring! but i can't wrap my head around why the hell they are $620 each! yeah! $620! wtf?! if anything, i'd like to have the ring.. but that's still nuts!!
http://www.thecurrentcustom.com/lovejewelry.html


and also, bailey jane would like a doggie sweater :) poor girl! she gets so cold at night in the winter! i need to get her some little doggie jammies! ahhhh, cute! lol :)

i dunno, i never really ask for anything except money for Christmas... which i end up blowing at ulta! i'm so obsessed with beauty products.. it's bad! and oh my bananas! on a completely random note, i've also been having the most INSANE dreams lately! no joke! i can't even begin to describe the movie dreams i've been having.. honestly! when i remember dreams, i remember pictures in my head, and these stories and things are just so detailed and OUT THERE that i would appear to be completely out of my head if i told you! just ask heather! i tried to explain one to her last night! haha :)

i hope everyone has a nice cold day! until next time, i guess... :)

damsel in a dress..

it's nail painting time again :) ha.. i'm just going to share some random things i've been into recently for this entry ::shrug::

old school country music.. this is the time of year when i drive around with my windows down at all times and listen to country or classic rock, haha :D here's a few i've been loving lately--

admit it, you love this song and haven't heard it in at least seven years!! haha!


oh my goodness dierks bentley's voice is so yummy! haha!


old school tim mcgraw/faith hill = love



my new wedges from charming charlie ...that were only FIVE freakin' dollars!! love!


mahjong!! OH my goodness i have been insanely obsessed with this game! it's too addicting!


and lastly, of course, nail polish!! :) this week it's "damsel in a dress" by essie.. i can't explain how much i love essie polishes! 8 bucks a bottle is definitely worth it!


:D

liquid rose gold...

blahhhh... i haven't blogged in a few weeks! and again, it's always because i feel like i have nothing to talk about.. whatever. i would, however, love to share with you the color that i painted my nails yesterday.. i'm madly in love with it! i'll post a swatch later!! :D

lately, i feel like peoples moods have been a little down =/ including my own, i suppose.. i've finally gotten to the point where i feel i can start looking for a job, and though i am pretty scared and nervous about it, and don't even have full confidence in myself yet, i just keep telling myself i have to fake 'til i make it... i guess i'll just pretend i'm a normal person with no issues and just see how that goes, ha!! i'm picky as hell when looking for a job, though.. i'm a crappy employee when i don't like my job, so i have to pick and choose where i'd be comfortable working while actually enjoying whatever i'm doing.. man, i'm such a pain in my ass! anyway, jamie's been looking for a job, too, and i hate it for her that she hasn't found one yet =/ she had a shitass day today and i felt the need to try to help and pick her up.. again, i always like helping other people more than trying to help myself, lol.. aye me, i'll never get to college and work towards what i actually want to do! wah wah wahhh, right? anyway, something that came up today was 'karma'.. "well i'm about ready for karma to come around!" -in jamie's words while on the phone with her sister... now this 'karma' lady, she really is a bitch and all, but damn if she works on her own time, ya know? sometimes life just sucks.. you have good days and bad days.. but all you can really do is live them one by one. karma will come around whenever she pleases, she's just one more thing you have absolutely no control over... it's interesting to me how much i keep realizing that the best thing to do is always look out for number one. work on yourself. be happy and things will fall into place... it is what it is.

while we're bitching :) ..i guess i'll update y'all on the 'guy front' ...which doesn't effing exist. everybody knows i'm fine being single, but i feel like i want some guy to just show up and make me want to be better.. make me want to take action and be a better person, be more confident and happy, etc etc... so where are you at tall guy with a big truck who likes sports and hunting/fishing?!? ha ;) ..maybe that's just an excuse for me to sit and wait for something to happen instead of get up and make my life.. ay yi yi! katie katie kaite...

so.. holy banana sandwich! new favorite nail polish! it's called "rage" by orly.. and it looks like liquid super shimmery rose gold.. it almost has a pink tint to it, which you don't really get from the picture.. i don't even know, it's just awesome, i love it! haha!! :D ...and no, those aren't my nails, i just google image searched :)

mini-vacaaayyy :D

oh my goodness! what a great trip it's been already! :) i adore my family and love spending time with them! the weather has been great and i've been able to spend lots of time in the pool!! ..even if my skin is apparently immune to the sun! wtf?! my face has gotten a little red but nothing else! i suppose i'm gonna have to amp it up and spend all day outside! ::sigh:: what a drag! ;) anyway, it's been great seeing my mom's side of the family! it's always great times with them! and there's always plenty of amazing food to be had! ha! luckily, i still have a whole week left! yeee!!

what a crap few weekends it's been for football! ugh!! my dawgs just aren't getting things done like they should be! i do have to say though.. i definitely bleed red and black, but i'm not one of those people that has their entire weekend ruined from one loss.. it is what it is! i guess since i love all football in general, there's plenty of other games i can watch.. which brings me to fantasy football! ugh!! this is the first year i've played, and i like that it keeps me interested and up on my pro football, but i like to win.. and i'm not winning!!! i have such a great fantasy team but it's always somethin' every week! last week, the team i played had peyton manning, and he got 61 freakin' points! this week the team i'm playing has pittsburgh defense, and they had 28 points! the defense! that's nuts! anyway.. aaron rodgers did decent for me this week with 45 points.. the ravens defense blew, my running backs did well and arian foster got me another 17 points, so it's not all bad.. but i'm still losing 125 to 118 at the moment =/ ..oh well! again, it is what it is! haha! i need to get some more solid receivers and maybe i'll be alright.. and i guess it doesn't help that i've played the two best teams so far.. whatev!!

i guess that's it for an update.. nothing too special, i'm sorry!! i would however, like to wish the lovely heather stephens a happy 22nd birthday today! yay!!! :D love yous!!! i hope everyone has a fan-freakin'-tastic week!!

eastbound and down ...except not really.

well, i'm painting my nails so i suppose it's time for another blog update :) again, i keep putting off blogging because i always feel like i have nothing interesting to say.. so here goes some randomosity for the week :D

i have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the past few days getting ready for a ten day visit to see mi madre in the volunteer state! i can't tell you how excited i've been for the past month or two to take this trip! i miss her, my aunts, my sister and niece so much and i'm uber jealous of the time they get to spend together in the tennessee hills! especially during this time of year! which glides me right into my next subject.. the weather! ohhh how i'm loving it! it's getting to be that time of the year when you can drive around with the windows down and take in the crisp air and warm sunshine without having a heat stroke! i guess i more so prefer cooler temperatures, but i can settle with this transition period... and again with my fantastic transitions! i guess the weather change has sent me into 'cold mode' :( which sucks! i've been so pumped for this trip and now all of a sudden, for the first time this year, i get a cold! it hasn't really gone full force yet, i've just been having that feeling of yucky in the back of my throat when you know you're about to get the sniffles and sick voice.. which i love by the way! (sick voice, that is) ..anyway! i've been trying to drink hella OJ to get my vitamin C up.. but mi padre got orange juice "with juicy bits of orange" from the grocery store! YUCK! ugh.. i hate pulp! i even tried to strain it through a paper towel so i could have some 'pulp-less' OJ, but it was a no go =/ i guess we'll see how my attempts work out in the next few days..

anyway! it's time to paint the nails on my right hand, so i need to get back into full concentration mode ;) haha! y'all wish me and bailey jane a safe trip and pray she doesn't hate me for shoving her in her crate for four hours in the back seat!

and this week i'm wearing revlon's "plum seduction".. love it!

playa del platinum..

i love hall and oates, and i adore this song.. so i just wanted to share it with y'all, because i literally cannot help but dance every time i hear it!


anyway, i wish i had something to write about, but i don't feel like putting too much effort into this, on account of i'm hella tired.. so i'll just jot a few things down that are on my mind :)

i recorded "(500) days of summer" the other day on dvr and watched it last night.. it was pretty cute, not what i expected.. it's a good movie to watch when you've just been dumped =/ haha! and joseph gordon-levitt reminds me so much of the late and lovely heath ledger in that movie! ::sniff sniff::

recently i made the move from blonde to dark brown... and i absolutely hate it :( which is super unfortunate considering there's pretty much nothing that i can do about it..

this past saturday, college football came back to me... i had been waiting a very long 8 months for it's return, but it came back with some fantastic games and gorgeous weather.. i was very surprised/relieved/impressed with my dawgs' performance and am looking forward to the year and getting $30 from brannen when they are ranked higher than georgia tech at the end of the season :)

lastly, the current 'flavor of the week' is "playa del platinum" by essie, which i love love! it's safe to say essie makes my favorite polishes! great brand! :)

barefoot in barcelona...

"when you lack respect for yourself, you will cling to every morsel of respect you can get from other people - and you'll feel threatened and unmoored(which blogspot does not think is a word?) if they don't cooperate. but when you have an internal reservoir of dignity and self-acceptance, you won't be begging others to fill it."
-dr. phil :)

i took this quote from an article i just read in oprah magazine. (quick side note - why did oprah decide that she should be the model for every single cover of her own magazine. does she ever get sick of doing photo shoots every month for that crap?) ..anyway, it really 'ding ding'ed in my head when i read it and made me think of the people i talk to who get really upset when other random people have bad manners, make rude remarks, shun them, etc etc.. the example in the article is something about what your typical response is when a grocery store clerk is rude to you.. some people let incidents like that rain out their entire day.. and some will just think "man, they must be having a crappy day" and get on with life... i'd like to think that more often than not, i'm in the second group of people.

anyway, i guess that's all about that :) i have just painted my nails "barefoot in barcelona" by OPI, and i'm waiting for them to dry... again, blog ensues!

and no, i didn't just take a picture of my nails, that's a google image! haha :D

i guess something i'd like to say, or get off my chest, is that 'getting things off my chest' is exactly my original intended purpose of this blog. whether those are things i find annoying or troubling throughout my day, something i've heard and want to voice my opinion about or a picture of a fabulous pair of shoes i'd like to share, it is in no way to 'talk crap' or bust anyone 'anonymously' via the internet. i'm not the kind of person who wants to try to start drama in those ways, i'm pretty straight forward, and blogging to confront someone (who may or may not even check this blog) is much too cowardly for my taste. i just don't think that far into my writing. my intentions aren't to hurt anyone at all. i write for my own selfish reasons, to do just that - "get if off my chest", which was my understanding of a 'blog' in the first place. and my understanding of most personal writing, for that matter... writing is therapeutic. i've been told to do it and even have friends who have been assigned to do it for college courses. it's a way to get emotions out of your head and away from your mind. some poeple have diaries, some people have blogs, and some people write in world renown newspapers. i've tried the diary thing and it was a complete fail! my hand always felt like it was going to fall off after like.. three sentences! haha!! i was under the impression that blogs are the diary of the new electronic interweb age! lol! :D i'm not ever really held accountable for much, and my therapist has reccommended 'journaling' to me, so i figured blogging and giving her the link may motivate me to spit some stuff out into written[typed] word. ha :) anyway, i want to say that i do understand that things i write can very well be taken the wrong way and offend others. and for that, i am truly sorry. a fault of mine, is mistaking the reactions of others. i tend to view things my way, and think about how i would react. however, not everyone is as stone cold as i am, and though i wish sometimes i could shed some of my tough skin and loan it to my friends, i can't. and i've learned that i can't just disregard their feelings because they may not be as strong or hard as mine. anyway, i just wanted to explain where i'm coming from, how i view the 'blogging world' (which i really don't think is a lone opinion on the subject) and what my true intentions have been.

blahhhh! and again, so much for not having any idea what to write about! i should really just start sitting down and starting a blog with no intention of writing anything at all... i mean, i really do put off blogging because i'll think "meh.. i have nothing to write about today", and here i am spilling my guts writing a novel again! anyway, i hear some thunder in the distance! i think it's sleepy storm time!! :D

i'll leave you with some fantastic music :)

...a tagged blogger :)

okay, so.. not so much that i was actually 'tagged', but i felt like doing this and maybe some of my friends would pick it up and have something to write about, too :) so my tag is "10 things you can't live without" ..10 items, people, places, whatever! that are important to you, make up your daily life or that you just have to have! with explanations! and i know, i know, material possessions aren't everything, and you can't live without your family, your friends, your car, the roof over your head, food and water, etc etc... be at least a little creative :)

10 things you can't live without....

10. 311 - my happy music :) if i'm stressed, anxious, worried about a test, anything.. i always put in my mix of my favorite 311 songs and take a deep breath and chill... love it!

9. the internet - well, duh! then i couldn't blog, facebook, or youtube!! i'd be lost and have to look up phone numbers and locate places with an actual phone book! i wouldn't be able to get madd discounts online shopping! i wouldn't be able to stream the georgia football game when it's not on tv! i could go on and on! :D

8. digital video recorder - what in the hell did i ever do without DVR?! holy crap! i mean really! i don't even have anything else to say! it's perfect!

7. special k fruit and yogurt cereal - honestly, i could live on cereal, i pretty much do! it's easy to make and it's freakin' delicious! i have to grab at least two boxes of special k cereal at the grocery store every week.. it pretty much makes up two of my meals every day.. and i don't often eat more than two meals, so yeah.... i'll just go ahead and add skim milk to this one. i can't eat cereal without my skim milk. all other milk tastes like straight thick butter and fat! no bueno!

6. bath and body works lavender vanilla pillow mist - mmmm! i don't care if this stuff helps me sleep or not, it smells soooo yummy! :) i'm currently out, and obviously on the verge of death, so if you have any extra change lying around...... hahaa, kidding!! :D

5. sports - georgia football. sec football in general. duke basketball. march madness. peyton manning. nfl football. what else can i say? what would i look forward to during the fall?! how could i live without that insane excitement every week waiting for saturday! what would i do if i couldn't make a march madness bracket that beat my dad, his friends and my boyfriend(if there is one, ha) every year! what if i had no idea that tony reali, brady quinn, mark sanchez, chris 'the birdman' anderson, or jayson werth existed?! it'd be awful! hehe :)

4. bottled water - if you know me, if you ever see me, you've seen how much bottled water means to me! ha! i never leave the house without a bottle of water. it's almost a nervous habit kind of thing.. i don't know, i just really like cold water! it makes me feel better! haha!

3. my cell phone - yeah, my cell phone. i never leave home without it. i never turn it off. and i hardly ever leave it in some other room of the house. if i've used that lie on you, i'm sorry!! and some people may know, it's even in the bathroom with me while i shower.. i have been known to pick up a call with my head hanging out of the shower curtain :) it's my alarm clock, my calendar, my note bad, my calculator ..it's like my lifeline! what if something were to happen and i needed to get in touch with someone! yes, it's almost always with me! haha

2. faith - i can't begin to explain how much having faith and hope has dramatically helped my situation. any situation. enough said!

1. bailey jane - my dog. she is my heart. i adore her and can't imagine a day that she doesn't wake me up wanting to go run around outside for way too long before she pees.... she's my little sweetheart and provides much entertainment when i'm in need :)


so there we go ...now, i tag you! :)


this blog was brought to you by: nick hexum's amazing voice and adorable dance moves!

.... :)

i just like this song.. :D

..a ninja time killer

random things are on my mind. and i just so happen to be waiting for my nails to dry before i hop into bed. blog ensues...


i painted my nails 're-fresh mint' by china glaze... which means they are mint green :) except only my left hand is right now, because i don't feel like painting my right hand before i go to bed....

polo black is the best effing cologne ever. and it forces me to visit boys just so i can smell like polo black when i get home :)

redbox is my new bff.

i really enjoy real people. who know when and how to speak their mind.

anderson silva got beat for 23 minutes tonight... he got lucky and chael tapped with two minutes left in round 5 ..dangit!

only 28 days until college football season. the absolute best time of year. i can't explain how excited i am to be happy all week waiting for every saturday!

'you've seen the butcher' by the deftones is hot hot hot.

you can't bullshit a bullshitter, and i'm the champ.

if it is hot outside, and ice cold inside your car, and your windshield fogs up... how do you 'unfog' it? with cold or hot air? i just end up turning on my windshield wipers.. =/

tall southern gentlemen are my weakness :) too bad i don't know any.... ha!

before i die, i want to see bob seger and 311 live. and probably a few more... but those are at the top of the list :)

i forgot i wanted to skydive... i really need to get on that!!


fin.

**this is a reminder to myself to blog about things i've been thinking about wanting to do in the next few years :)

...a music enthusiast?

this is why i suck at 'blogging' and writing in general.. i can never think of anything to write about, or anything worth writing about. i just got done doing some serious cleaning in the office/'georgia room', and felt like blogging... but i have no idea what to say? i guess music might be my 'blogging' trigger. i listen to music when i clean, and i think it made me feel like sitting down and spilling my guts.... but i don't really have anything to spill?

i've been thinking a lot about music lately.. and how it can be so frustrating sometimes, to me at least. i feel like sometimes i want to like a song so bad, or i'll like the lyrics of the song and not the music, or i'll love the music/feel of the song but the lyrics suck, and the worst is when the lyrics and the music are perfect, but the vocals are horrible...

for example.. earlier i was listening to this song "the only exception" by paramore... i love the music part of the song, hayley's voice and the verses (for the most part), but then you kind of get to the chorus and it's just "you ... are ... the only exception. you ... are ... the only exception." over and over again! and she doesn't even change her tone or whatever the whole time she's repeating those five words.. i'm just kind of like, ugh! it's like "you da best" by drake... the verses and the hook of that song are great, and then the chorus blows so much that it ruins the whole song! bummer, yeah?! haha

and then there's this song called "the biblical sense of the word" by quiet company.. i have no idea where i first heard it, and it's almost impossible to find, but i found the lyrics and some of them are so sweet, i love it! --

"When the morning comes, we will wake,
and the sun will kiss your beautiful face.
And if you want to know the truth, I can say
'You are my favorite part of every day.'

Oh, love ain't so tough, you will see.
Just open up your arms to me,
and don't make no vow you can't keep,
and I'll lay my pride down at your feet.

Because neither the heavens nor the earth
can equal what you're worth.
I know you.
I would fall apart
if I didn't have your heart.
I know you would too.

We make our lives worth living
when we love each other.
Yeah, we can move the mountains with our love.

You whisper you love me in my ear.
When you tell me you love me,
suddenly, I'm not scared.
You've got me right where you want me
and I will stay here,
when you tell me you love me,
suddenly, I'm not scared.
We make our lives worth living when we love each other."

the first few verses are adorable, and then there's somewhat of a chorus, and then random crap? it's just so confusing.. and the vocals aren't that great either, it's just put together so awkwardly.... i just want the vocals to be perfect, the song structure to make sense, and the music to have good, easy and calm rhythm.... blah!

why can't every song be as perfect as "mainstreet" by bob seger, "jack and diane" by john mellencamp, "time" by hootie and the blowfish, "terrified" by kara diaguardi, or almost anything by ben folds!? haha... i could name so many amazing songs, and just as many crappy ones =/

and real quick while we're on music... have you ever thought about how many songs you know the full lyrics to?? i mean, holy crap! i might know the lyrics to thousands of songs! how insane is that?! i don't know... i just randomly thought about that the other day as i was singing "i'm a thug" by trick daddy word for freakin' word! haha!! :D

this rant was inspired by:



so much for not having anything to say... :)

..a stupid girl

i don't ever do this.. write to portray an idea, feeling or emotion or anything, but i felt like trying something new, so here.. it doesn't have a title, and i'm no poet, i'm just ill and decided to throw something together.. heh :)

you started to play the perfect song
sweet interest you did convey
what is it i did wrong
to make you stop and turn away

i'm a lucky girl, i know this, i almost always get what i want.. so i guess that's the reason i'm still blah about something, haha... i could be mad and pissy forever, but what i'm not accustomed to is being hurt and embarrassed and just.. yuck, i don't like looking like a fool.. i have never ever let that happen before.. and it's lame! =/ blahhh, why did i get myself into that?

okay i'm done bitching :) anyway.. today was a lovely, lazy saturday! this morning(afternoon) i slept, ate some cereal, and watched the x-games, which are my fav!! i saw the deaf girl win moto-x, yay deaf girl! and watched ryan sheckler barely win street skate, yay ryan! :D haha... and i decided that while i have the most respect for skateboarders, because it's probably the most difficult to do, bmx is the most entertaining to watch!! it kicks ass! haha.. but i do still love skateboarding more :) i guess because i know more people, bob burnquist is my lover! and i like bucky, and andy mac, and sometimes plg, and sometimes jake brown... and ryan sheckler is pretty gay, but he still looks good..... i also discovered that all the street skate guys are pretty much 12 years old!! haha! i chopped that up to the fact that that's where skateboarders start, right? i mean, all of the big air, best trick and vert guys are like 40!! ..am i really still talking about the x-games?? anyway, i drove around a little, chilled with jamie and mason for a little while, aaand i came home and painted my nails "lilacism" by essie :) wow, x-games and nail polish.. am i a split personality gemini or what?!
y'all have a great night! i'm going to sleeeeep...

today was brought to you by: my favorite rhcp :)

...i don't know, but my nose is sun burned :(

i wanted to blog, but i wasn't sure what to blog about... so i have no idea where this post might be headed, but maybe i'll make a point somewhere in here :)

arguments. disagreements. feuds. fights. throw down with bobby flay? it seems like recently, i've been encountering a lot of these (well, except with bobby flay). not only my own few arguments here and there, but i guess i've seen friends and family arguments lately and i've kind of been thinking about the whole thing... we all have them, and we all deal with them in our own ways. and i guess there's no cookie cutter way to correctly handle a fight. and sometimes, i don't think there's any right way at all. over the past few years, i've learned who i am, and that other people generally are not like me (haha..). family, friends, acquaintances, we don't all handle things the same way. we don't all see things, hear things or react to things the same way either. which is the cause of most arguments anyway... so i guess what i've learned to do is understand that my dad (who i'll use as my example because well.. it's just the easiest, haha) is in no way like me when it comes to anger (and all kinds of things really). i understand that he doesn't live like i do, he doesn't see things like i do, and he most certainly doesn't handle things like i do. all i can do is realize that, and let it go and hope he can do the same with me. we are two separate people with two very different lives. while we live together, and have a lot to do with each other's daily life, i have to allow myself to dictate my own time, my own life and my own feelings, not anyone else. my big way of dealing with people i constantly butt heads with or generally dislike, is just 'outing' them. i don't let them occupy my time or energy, because that's the easiest thing for me to do in order for zero drama to occur. however, at some point we'll all have to deal with someone we tend to disagree with often.. my best advice is just to know who you are, and understand that not everyone is like you. accept that fact, and do your best to live with it. understand that you cannot be held responsible for every little feeling everyone has, because when it comes down to it, we're all crazy different, and you may mean one thing, but someone else comprehends that through a whole 'nother set of eyes and ears. i guess working through an argument, to me, is realizing where the communication went wrong and picking up and moving on from it. most importantly, you can't dwell or focus on the mistakes made.. recognize them together, take note, accept that it happened, and leave it behind you. there is absolutely no way you can take back the past minute, hour or year of your life, the only thing you can do is say goodbye to it and take a step forward.

okay, wow, i'm feeling very dr. phil.. although i'm sure he might have made all of that sound a little less complicated!! :)

this post was brought to you by:
:)

..a weirdo

last night i was setting my alarm for this morning[afternoon], and i got kind of annoyed with one of my 'quirks' (you'll see why).. so i started thinking about some of the weird things that i do and how stupid they are! i figured i'd write them down, so i'll list them here and share my stupid little quirks with you :)

- when i set my alarm, the numbers in the time have to add up to 3, 4, 7 or 11.. for example: 9:02am, 12:01am, etc etc.

- i wet my toothbrush before and after i put the toothpaste on, then proceed to brush my teeth for like five minutes... that's kind of normal for some people, i guess, haha

- every time i pull into my driveway, i take my seat belt off at the same moment/spot when i'm pulling up to the top of the hill before i get in the garage... even though my car yells at me and makes an annoying sound when the car is moving and my seat belt isn't on.

- i eat my food one 'item' at a time.. for example: chicken first, then carrots, then potatoes. and i never mix my food together. or if i'm eating fast food, i'll eat the fries first then the chicken, unless it's arby's, then i eat the chicken then the fries...

- this one is super weird and really hard to explain... when i'm watching tv, i constantly look at the time on the cable box below the tv, and i trace the numbers with my toes over and over again. it even annoys me that i do it, but i can't stop.. and when i'm laying down to go to sleep, i'll write out words and stuff with my toes.. it's so random! like, i'll picture the word in my head and just move my feet in thin air like i'm writing it, except i don't use my fingers, haha.. i do this compulsively and it doesn't stop until i fall asleep, haha

- i simplify my life almost obsessively. i clean out my purse all the time. and i'm always organizing something so i can get rid of stuff... i'll clean out my closet or drawers a few times a month and always find things to throw out. i could probably pack all of my things in about 10 minutes because it's all so organized and i hardly own anything, haha...

- when i'm reading an article or long post online, i constantly click around random places with my mouse and highlight text and click off of it and highlight something else. i don't pay attention to what i'm highlighting, because i'm reading, but i just highlight random blocks of text and click off and highlight more really fast.. that one's kind of difficult to understand unless you see me do it, ha..

so i guess that's all i can think of for now... please tell me you have some weird quirks, too?? =/ haha!

:)

...a mo-ron

i always paint my nails all pretty ..and then a few days later i start having these crazy internal battles with myself because i start wanting to pick the nail polish off. so i tell myself i'll only pick off the nail polish on one nail so i can just paint that one over again ..but i can never stop at just one! does this mean i'm addicted to picking at nail polish??

fin.

...the lover :)

warning: this post may end up coming across as 'preachy' ...my bad! :)

i feel like too many people are rushing. i guess as humans, we're generally impatient and always on some kind of mission to make something happen. so lately, i'm learning that "making things happen" isn't always our role. a few weeks ago at church, the sermon was all about "God's waiting room". kevin talked about how to be "actively patient" while you're waiting. that your part is just to pray and find comfort in knowing that whatever God is doing in your life while you're waiting, is just as important as what you're waiting for ..whether that be love, kids, a job, etc etc. i really enjoyed the sermon and yeah, i've thought about it a lot since then.. but i think a lot of people actually have a problem realizing when they are in that waiting room. i mean, when you want a promotion or you want to score high on a test, yeah, you work for it. but there are a lot of things in life that aren't really up to us. waiting for love. i guess i'm figuring out the "wait" part, because most people are just doing the "looking". most who know me, know that i'm quite the patient single girl :) and a significant other just isn't high on my list of things to find.. i've been in great, long lasting relationships, but i can't say i've ever looked to be in one. i know way too many people (girls, mostly) who are on some kind of crazy hunt.. never letting things fall into place or stopping to focus on their own faults that could use some attention. i guess i'm just saying that God's waiting room for 'that certain someone' is packed full of people who don't even know they're stuck in there with no way out except one... which, yeah, is through Him. i can't say i'm not an 'active' waiter(?), but i've come to find that i just can't pick who that guy is for me. when it's right, it will be, and i'll know. so i guess sometimes, no matter who you do or do not pray to, you have to have some kind of faith that things do happen for a reason. and the pieces will fall into place. one thing i do know for sure, is that you can't love until you love yourself. you won't have the true love you've always dreamed of, until you're 100% with yourself. so, while you wait, focus on yourself, bettering yourself, figuring out what you want out of life and start living. because life[love] is what happens when you're busy making other plans...

:)

...a dreamer

so the other night, i dreamed i was drinking a diet cherry coke, and i didn't even know diet cherry coke existed! it was really good, and in my dream i was like "dang, i should start drinking diet cherry coke!" ...so, back in real life, at the grocery store i discovered that diet cherry coke does, indeed, exist! i got some.. and it's not as good as it was in my dream =/ oh well, haha!!

i'm a big dreamer. and i really feel sorry for people who don't dream, or don't remember their dreams. it's almost like living in another world, for me! i have several dreams every night, and i find that i have the most vivid dreams in the mornings, if i wake up and fall back asleep a lot.. i also remember my dreams for a long time. i guess because i think about them a lot, but i can remember a dream i had when i was somewhere around 5 or 6 years old.. and i remember random dreams through the years.. it's weird. there's really no rhyme or reason to my dreams. sometimes i can recognize where a dream came from, like from something that happened during the day, or something i've been thinking about. and sometimes i have completely random movie dreams.. they're just like movies, they have plots and characters and everything! sometimes i'm in the movie, and sometimes i'm just watching it.. and sometimes i go back and forth from being in the movie to watching it.. it's nuts! i really love dreaming! haha :) i also have lucid dreams pretty often.. which is when you recognize in your dream that you're dreaming. those are really crazy, but i love them! sometimes they end too quickly, though.. i usually end up waking up after i realize i'm dreaming.. bummer!

this past year i've had a lot of recurring dreams.. i say this past year because i don't remember having them very often when i was younger.. anyway, my most recurring dream is that i'm back in high school, and i drove to school and the day is over, i go out to the parking lot to get in my car and leave and i have no idea where i parked my car. i always think to myself (in my dream) "man, i don't even remember parking my car this morning! what the hell?" ..so i end up walking all over the parking lot until eventually i find my car.. parked in some random spot and there's always some weird obstacle, like one time i was apparently driving some huge SUV and one of my tires was up on this huge rock, so half my car was in the air.. it was really weird.. i just got in and got it out and drove off... and one time i was parked between two cars who had parked WAY too close to me! i don't remember how i got in, but i couldn't get in through the drivers side door because the car was literally inches from mine! haha.. i have no idea what's up with that dream?!

then i have the dreams that help me make decisions, which is weird, haha! like my diet cherry coke dream.. this year with my tax return i really wanted to buy a louis vuitton speedy bag.. the speedy bag comes in different "sizes", i guess you could say.. the speedy 20, speedy 25, 30, 35 and 40. so since i like carrying a suitcase everywhere i go, i decided i wanted the speedy 35.... i thought about it for a few months and was really second guessing, thinking maybe the 35 would be too huge and i should get a 30.. (yes, these are things that i really worry over for months, it's sad, i know..) so anyway, one night i dreamed that i ordered a speedy 30.. i got it in the mail and it was hideous and small.. it didn't even look like what it was supposed to, it was just weird looking and in my dream i was like "dang, this is way too small! i should have ordered the 35!!" ...needless to say, the next day i happily ordered the speedy 35. it came in the mail a week later and was the perfect size! i adore it! what a happy ending! :D

HAHA! ...just so you know, this post is not a joke and that last part is a true story! haha :D
i hope y'all have sweet dreams!

...the learning.

"twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. so throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. explore. dream. discover."
-mark twain

so if there's one thing that i've learned from anxiety disorder, it's that you absolutely must not let fear, worry, question or anxiety stop you from conquering anything. i'm certainly no master in living by this, but i've lived so much of my life without taking any chances, i guess it took something like agoraphobia to really open my eyes. what's opening your eyes?
about a month ago, for the first time in over a year, i let my want to do something overcome my fear of doing it. driving home, after trivia and hanging out with my friends, i had my music up and my windows down and i was on top of the world. it took twenty years of shying away and one year of intense worry and anxiety, for me to shut down a fear. i know it sounds silly, it is silly. every game our mind plays with us is silly. every time we let a single thought, a single worry, stop us from trivia at mellow mushroom, taking that challenging class, or even getting to know someone, it's silly. it's stopping us from life. my first meeting with mrs. lori, my saving grace, was june 10, 2009. i remember telling her about my friend heather. about how she seemed so fearless to me. little things that were everyday easy going activities for her, were crippling to me. i told mrs. lori i just wanted to be like heather. like every other friend i had. every other person i knew. i wanted to shut my mind up and do whatever i wanted to do, regardless of what i felt ...only problem is, sometimes it's just not as easy for some people, and GAD shoved me into that category. lucky me! ha :) i am lucky, however, to be learning what i am now. i guess this is a lot of the reason why i think i'd like to become a counselor or therapist. i want to be able to tell people the lessons i've learned and how i've done so. i want to make things that much easier for someone who's faced what i have. i want to look at people and be able to say "hey, i know. i feel you. i've been there. and i struggled just like you are. and i'm okay. it's not impossible." so having said all that, i'm not 100% yet. i'm still learning, i'm still struggling, but i'm still conquering. and i'm also still taking a chance.


...on a lighter note :) my birthday gift from dad came in the mail today!!

...the birthday girl!

i'm three days late, sorry! :D

this past sunday, father's day, was also my 22nd birthday... at church and throughout the day, the question of 'which came first, the chicken or the egg?' kept coming up... see, everyone kept asking what i was doing for dad for father's day, and i'd say something bratty about how 'it was my birthday, too! and without my birthday, he wouldn't have a father's day!' so we went on and on about which was first, which was the cause of the other. i guess all i can really say is that you can't have one without the other, but more importantly, i'm just thankful for the father that i was given (or given to? hmm.. :) ha!) often, when i'm thanking God for my blessings, i thank Him for my parents, for how they raised me. i'm thankful that i grew up going to church every sunday, wearing matching easter dresses with mama, and for those delicious wednesday night dinners (mine always consisted of a bowl of salad, with ranch dressing, bacon bits and croutons!) before GAs. though, like many others, i strayed, that foundation has always been set for me, it will always be the very first part of who i am. i'll always thank my parents for putting me on the right path, for instilling their beliefs to help create mine. so i guess for a late birthday/father's day blog, i just want to say i'm thankful for another year, thankful for my father, and also thankful for my Heavenly Father, for everything He has done for me, for everyone.

..someone who feels the need to post 25 random things about themself :)

okay, so.. i'm one of those people who's addicted to the lame surveys and "tag, you're it" notes on facebook. i figured here would be as good of a place as any to share 25 things about myself..
so here goes :)

1. i'm 100% honest, 98% of the time..
2. i rarely capitalize letters, because i think lowercase letters are prettier than capital ones :)
3. i love my dog like my own child, no seriously.. and we snuggle at night, she's the little spoon, haha!!
4. i'm a dreamer.. i always have super interesting and vivid dreams, at least two or three a night or every time i sleep. i love sleep because i love my dreams, even the nightmares, which are rare :) my dreams are like movies, with plots and everything, sometimes i'm in the movie and sometimes i'm just watching it.
5. i was born and raised and always will be a georgia football fan, i hate everything orange.
6. however, peyton manning is still one of my most favorite people ever!!
7. i'm agoraphobic/GAD
8. you have no idea how easily i could spend thousands of dollars on hair/make up/beauty products! <3
9. i'm blessed.
10. 99.9% of the time, i can tell when a person is dishonest, shady or fake.. 'cause you can't bullshit a bullshitter :)
11. 311 is my happy music <3
12. i'm 22, but my mind is 33.. ish ..sometimes :)
13. i love people who know when and how to speak their mind, who don't bother with beating around the bush and expect the same from others.
14. there's a little (okay kinda big) part of me that just wants to be taken care of forever.. i'm not down with feminism, you be the man and do manly things, and i'll be the woman and stay home and take care of girly things :) ..that's like my dream, hahaha
15. buuuut if i do have to work, i think i'd like working as a therapist or counselor, psychologist style. i think the best therapists know from experience and can relate well to any client's issues.. and that is all me! haha :)
16. 'pineapple express' never fails to crack me up!!
17. and no, i have never in my life ever smoked weed.
18. i will continue arguing even after i realize i'm wrong.. but me and wrong don't meet up very often ;)
19. i'm obsessed with 'deadliest catch' on discovery channel.. it's my total favorite and i could watch the same episode a million times!!
20. my ultimate goal in life is just to be completely happy :)
21. i'm into just about every genre of music.. i like music for me, not for anyone else, i don't care if everyone and their mom knows about the song and it plays on the radio 78 times a day, if i like the song, i like the song.. anyone else's opinion of music doesn't have anything to do with what i like.
22. having said that ..i think classic/soft/southern rock might always be my favorite. music will never be made as big or as great as it used to be. also.. i think bob seger is super underrated! =( hahaha
23. i'm eternally grateful for my parents raising me in church.
24. i have seen 17 seasons of 'the real world' in their entirety.. and i have no idea how!
25. i made it through twelve and a half years of schooling without ever knowing anything solid about pronouns, prepositional phrases or any of your other basic english/grammar stuff.. i know what a noun is, and what a verb is (but only because of those verb.com commercials) and that's about it. and honestly, i don't reallly remember much of anything i learned in high school at all other than how to make hemp necklaces :)

...a brand new blogger.

so just now, 10 minutes ago, while listening to an insanely amazing thunderstorm going on outside, i decided i'd start myself a blog. so here goes :)

i guess first, i'll just tell you a little (maybe a lot?) about myself.. my name's katie, that's me in that picture over there >> and i'll start by saying that i don't usually capitalize letters 'cause i think lowercase letters are prettier :) i'm not a big fan of a single period to end a sentence, and i use smiley faces a lot... i like to think of myself as a true southern belle :) i like to get dressed up, go shopping, get my nails done, but i also love staying at home all day on a saturday to watch SEC football or go out to BFE and play with guns. i'm really into sports, my daddy raised me that way :) ..i'm a red and black blooded georgia bulldog football fan, but i just love to watch football in general. i prefer college football over the NFL, but i root for peyton manning and the colts on sundays. i like watching UFC, college basketball, braves baseball and i wouldn't be southern if i didn't watch nascar here and there :) i'm also an intense fan of the discovery channel show 'deadliest catch', you have no idea how interested somebody can be in bering sea crab fishermen! i mean really, i'm an admin on a deadliest catch fansite! ha!

i have a 16 month old american cocker spaniel named bailey jane and she is my absolute heart! i adore her! she's my little blond sweetheart and she loves everybody she meets! i guess those are all interests of mine, so here's a little about myself... i'm honest to a fault and like to think i'm pretty intuitive. i have generalized anxiety disorder, which basically means i worry too much, stress too much, and get anxious over just about anything. a little over a year ago (may '09) i was in wal-mart picking up a few things and suddenly started having a panic attack and wanted to get the hell out of there! i got scared that i was gonna be sick and walked straight out to my car and drove home.. i didn't leave my house for a good three months after that. hello agoraphobia! basically, i had some crazy fear of being in public... say you're scared shitless of heights and someone forces you up to the top of the empire state building and wants you to bungee jump off it - that's about how i felt (and sometimes still do feel) every time i had to leave my house to go anywhere for any reason. i ended up finding the sweetest and best therapist ever to help me learn what the hell was going on in my head and start working on cognitive behavioral therapy to overcome the agoraphobia... so it's been a year and i'm just starting to get out on my own again, and it feels freakin' great! it's nice to hang out with my friends again and go to the mall and whatnot... so now i just have to figure out what i want to do with the rest of my life! after going through what i've been through, i'm thinking i'd like to be some kind of therapist so i can help other people who struggle with things i have.. for now, i guess i'll just write it all down (errr, type it all up?) as i go :)